Let me out

The last time I tried to wear my heart on my sleeves...I remembered my pride and ego got punched really hard. The healing process took 3 years. Never again, I swore to myself, to breath my story to another living soul. Unlocking my past entries & blogs hit me with an overwhelming pang of resentment, all those well-kept emotions came flooding through me like an eager wave. Deep inside me, I cannot wait to get this off my chest. But I know damn well that it comes with a heavy price to pay. I cannot afford it.

Till then, mum is the word and my best secrets will go to the grave with me.

Ready to Roll

All that peace, quiet and privacy was nice while it lasted, and I sure needed it - but I'm on a different page now. I'm ready for some excitement, and even though I know I have to get up tomorrow, I really won't care how late I have to stay up to have some excitement. That's simply because I'm definitely connect with at least one someone who is going to help me find what I'm after: adrenaline.

It ain't cloak-and-dagger that emotions have always been my sign's specialty. I know how to express them, no matter where I am or who happens to be watching, because it never occurs to me to hold them back. After all, aren't feelings the best part of being human? Well, that's debatable, from some of our points of view, but at any rate, when a very strong feeling hits me now, admirably, I won't think twice before expressing it. I won't even want to.

So keep a look out on this joint, I'm back blogging.

Social Loop

I know I am usually quite a party animal but after my absence for a year and now that I am back, I have been much more introverted than usual. Pretty odd but some have gotten used to it yet some let it threw them for a loop. You see, I just need to go back into my shell for a while and think some things through. Things are changing. There are a few changes in my life that I need to adjust to. All I need is just some 'alone' time. But HEY, this social queen bee is making a comeback! Now, two's company and three's a party! I'm feeling the urge to connect with other people, and get back in the loop with friends! The more people there are, the merrier I will be! I want to feel a part of the world around me, I wanna rub elbows with people from all walks of life, I wanna put myself in the middle of the crowd and start making friends. Tell your friends, everyone around you......

I am back.

You wouldn't like me if I told you I love you

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

He has left, closed the door, picked his baggage and thrown it out of the window. He let go, he's gone, life still goes on like every dawn has its dusk, it's over, it is you who stay behind and suffer, because what you are left with is memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.

You won't have believed if I told you I will change

Images by Phooey

I know I have been going on and on about how I am changing and growing, but people are yet to see any real evidence of this transformation. Before you call me on my baloney or tell me that I am fooling myself, please think about what I really need right now - your support, not your criticism. So be patient and understand that sometimes real change takes real time - it doesn't always happen dramatically.

Transition

So I have been told that I have been too tough on myself over the past few weeks. Today I decided to cut myself some slack. The result is, indeed, very rewarding. While the road ahead might feel a bit too bumpy to be comfortable, I can clearly see how things are about to get a whole lot better.

xx

This is possibly the closest to the day when all of my hard work finally pay off! That big boss of mine who has been a big problem for me lately has finally being favorable. I can kiss that tension ass goodbye.

I am humming. I am in love.